This morning we were sitting around the table eating our cereal when Kyle, his chest all puffed up with pride, said, "Mom, feel my leg! I'm getting some hair!" Then Megan asks in a surprised voice, "You are getting HAIR, Kyle?!" "Yes!" Kyle replied, "You can't see it, but you can feel it." Megan says in a matter-of-fact voice, "That's because you've been eating your crust." At this point in the conversation I could not longer contain my laughter! Oh my goodness my children do say the funniest things, and they take things so seriously. Tom teases then on occasion, with "Eat your crust, and you'll get hair on your chest." but it seems they took his teasing quite literally!
At nap time today I lay down with my sweet Kyle, as I usually do until he gets quiet and settled. I rubbed his back and sang some of my favorite hymns and choruses to him for a little while. When I stopped he said to me, "You forgot one, Mom. You need to sing Jesus Loves Me." So we sang that one too. After we finished he gave me a sweet smile, a kiss, and said "I love you, Mom."
Kyle quieted down after that and went right to sleep, while I lay next to him struggling against tears and praying that God would allow me these moments with my kids for many years. I'm so glad I took the opportunity to cherish these moments today!
Since my recent transplant I realize that life is so fragile, especially my life--the life of a transplant recipient. Though I try not to live in fear, there are times when the fact that something could go wrong with my transplant at any minute hits me square between the eyes. I do not fear death. I know when I die that I will go to be with my heavenly father, but I fear leaving my children, and I fear their broken hearts that will result. This is something that I must continually turn over to God. I know he has a plan for their little lives, just as much as he has a plan for mine. And how by worrying can I add a single second to my life?
This past Sunday in our Adult Bible Fellowship we studied this passage in James.
James 4: 13-17 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Time is our most valuable earthly resource. Each minute is a gift from God, and we are never guaranteed more than 'now'. As a Mom I need to realize that my time with my children is limited (with or without a liver transplant) and make it a point to cherish the moments with them. Cherishing the moments is so much more than snuggling on the couch, kissing their booboos, and reading them bedtimes stories (though it is that as well). Cherishing the moments is making the most of every opportunity, taking the time to love them AND lovingly teach them not only by the things I say to them, but the things I do as well. Though I know when I die I will go to heaven, I do not want to leave my kids helpless... defenseless in this world. I
Ephesians 5: 15-17 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is.
Psalm 90:12 Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Don't spend time,
Don't waste time,
This is one of the reasons I blog. When I am no longer on this earth to help my children, I want them to be able to read this and remember what was important to me, to see that I cherished them, and to see that though I wasn't perfect (not even close) I truly desired to know and follow God. I want them to see that God and his Word was a comfort to me in hard times of life. I want them to see that I went to God and his Word when I struggled with sin or discouragement. I want them to see that through it all, I found PEACE and JOY through my relationship with Christ, and I pray it will encourage them to do the same.